Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Things that make me go hmmm

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realise you're wrong.

Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with? 

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish writing a text message.

Lol has often gone from meaning "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories.

Whenever I'm in Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning.  546 pictures? Don't mind if I do thanks.

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save the changes to my 22 page report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

I hate leaving my house feeling ultra confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about 1 in every 10 songs.

Why is a school zone 40kph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for paedophiles...

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

….and finally;

The other night I ordered takeaway Chinese food, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included 2 sets of plastic cutlery. Hmmmm. Someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least 2 people eating to require this amount of food. I was eating by myself.


  1. Kind of like ordering a big pizza to the door and then fake talking to someone in the house so they don't think you are alone....not that I have ever done that. No really, lol, (written in sarcasm font)

  2. Oh Lou, these are hilarious, mind if I borrow them? I think my fave is the Facebook stalking, and yes, I'm guilty, LOL.

  3. Totally awesome!!! I agree about the obituaries for sure (yes I am ghoulish)

  4. Lou, we must be long lost twins! I must think these very things at least once a week. Terrific list. Thanks for the laughs.

  5. Thanks all and a big welcome back to Lermontov - long time no hear buddy.


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