Lost in translation

   Check out heaps more at the hilarious engrish.com. Click each to open and enlarge in a new window.

Quick check in

Been zipping around the country for work in the last couple of days (Palmerston North, Christchurch) so have barely had a minute to call my own. Once or twice I managed to log on with hotel internet for a few minutes but then I’m so tired I practically fall asleep on the keyboard.  Heading home to Auckland tomorrow. 

Until then here’s another great Venn diagram by Jessica Hagy. Check out more at thisisindexed.com

More hip marketing from Microsoft

Has anyone been watching the ‘party’ marketing plan for Windows 7 which is due for launch later this month?

This instructional video is so bad I initially thought it must be a spoof but apparently not. It is long but you’ll get enough of the picture in the first minute or two so there’s no need to inflict the whole revoltingly perky thing on yourself. There’s a lot of talk of ‘activities’ and lots of over-acting.

Is it for real? Have any of you American bloggers who read here signed up to host a Windows 7 party? I see there’s free promotional material and gifts etc supplied to hosts. You too could have all your friends over and do activities with them until they beg for mercy.

The Maharishi Guide to Zen

 

 

 

 

 

 

The darkest hours come just before the dawn. So if you’re going to steal the neighbour’s milk and newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

Sex is like air. It only becomes really important when you aren’t getting any.

Do not walk behind me for I might not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just fuck off and leave me alone.

Generally speaking, you aren’t learning if your lips are moving.

Never forget that you are unique, like everybody else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

Before you judge someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Some day we are the flies; some days we are the windscreens.

Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it

Author unknown

Two for Tuesday

I) Photo of the day

Oops. They thought that releasing doves  was such a romantic idea when they thought of it.

 

 

 

 

 

Photographer and subjects unknown. Sorry but I have no idea who or to which site to credit this photo to.

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II) Cottage envy

From lovetoescape.com:

Craig Highland Farm, self-catering cottages in Ross-shire, the Highlands near Skye and Lochalsh. Excellent loch side Highland holiday cottages sleeping 2, 4 and 6 people on a working farm. Pets welcome by arrangement. Short breaks available.

I can only dream.

An oldie but a goodie

Sigh, pretty but oh so dumb. Watch the host guy try not to laugh.

Theme of the day

 

Sarcasm

Wound so tight

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What do you bet they don’t use any of these photos in the marketing material to get people into competitive diving?

 

 

 

 

 

Dude! You’ll burst a gasket.

 

 

Check out those thighs.

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On a more serious note…

I am deeply relieved that the sky did not fall in during President Obama’s speech to America's children.

Just finished reading the speech and I think it was well thought out and quite inspirational. I would love to know how many kids were kept home from school by their parents rather than risk having their brains addled by what might have been dastardly partisan politics.

Unconsummated I presume?

Great story in yesterdays New Zealand Herald. Even Germans screw things up sometimes.

Bride spent wedding night with crate of vodka reports Reuters.

A German bride spent her wedding night flaked out next to a crate of vodka before being rescued by police. Cologne police were forced to rescue the 30-year-woman when the BMW she was unconscious in began to overheat in the sun. Once roused she climbed out of the broken window, still wearing her wedding dress. The boozy bride apparently had no idea where her husband was.

 

Photo courtesy of Essex Wedding Services.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Happy Birthday to me!!

44 years ago today my tiny little mother gave birth to an 11lb (pre metric days here in 1965) monster.

I have another day off work today so I am heading off shortly for a leisurely lunch with my best mate and then to collect the new car later this afternoon. This evening a big group of us are meeting at my favourite Thai restaurant for dinner.

The family dinner was last night and lovely pressies were had including my favourite perfume, a new coffee mug and vouchers to spend at Repco on my new car (seat covers or whatever).

I’ve also been splashing out, ostensibly for my birthday, on tickets; me and 2 friends going to Cirque du Soleil on Saturday coming and another friend and I scored VIP Pearl Jam tickets for November.

Fanfreakintastic! Life is good!

Love this

Nothing like a point of difference. Looks like a fun day, good on them for thinking outside of the square.

Best of luck to the newlyweds.

Sheer Animosity

Click on pictures to enlarge and read. Enjoy.

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   By Sheer Animosity

Safety with a difference

Those of you who read here regularly will know that I commute to work by air a day or two per week to our capital city, Wellington. I have a shockingly large carbon footprint I am sorry to say.

Anyway, a few weeks back a brand new safety video message was unveiled by Air New Zealand and it makes me smile.. They’re not actors either, they really are Air New Zealand cabin crew. Brave, especially the woman at the end. Check it out.

Painted On

No secrets

Probably fake but funny none the less.

I only say it’s probably fake as I seem to be getting fooled so often lately. I still naively take things at face value – perhaps it’s a sign of my age, I’m just not used to the electronic trickery that’s available.

Has anything fooled you lately?

Honesty

I wore a brand new charcoal grey fine wool suit to work today for the first time. I matched it with the beautiful black pumps I bought in Melbourne a couple of months back and a black silk top. I felt like a million dollars.

I was in the cafeteria making a coffee when a good friend and colleague came in. We chatted and she noticed my new suit. I did a twirl for her and casually asked  “ Ya like it?” 

Big mistake.

“Hmmm dunno – I’m not sure about the colour. Is it wool? It’s not my kind of thing I guess. Too formal. Too tailored.”

I felt deflated.

I know that I asked the question and some no doubt would say that if I didn’t want an honest answer I shouldn’t have asked. But hang on a minute, when did tact become a thing of the past?  It’s not like I was asking her in the shop fitting room before I bought it - I had already shelled out the big bucks. It must have been obvious to her that I felt great wearing it so why would she feel like it was necessary to be so brutal?

We all get asked questions every day where a completely honest answer is not the best course of action. 

Isn’t she the most beautiful baby you’ve ever seen?

What do you think of my new sofa?

Do you like my new hair cut?

Wasn’t that the best lasagne you’ve ever tasted?

Selective honesty has it’s place  – telling a white lie in response to these types of questions means that no-one gets hurt. There’s almost always something positive we can come up with to save hard feelings.

Do you agree or do you believe there is not any excuse for any degree of dishonesty?

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Do you like my new do?

 

I got e-mailed this today. 

Cute.

Registration number please

Have you had need of a superhero recently? 

Perhaps you’re a famous scientist with the cure for swine flu but before you can save the world you need rescuing from a sheer precipice 500 metres above the ground on a deserted pacific island? Or perhaps you’re a cop and  you’ve run into an evil genius attempting to take over the world but you’re ridiculously undermanned and need some serious help?  Perhaps your city has been besieged by a Godzilla type creature and your mayor has sent out an international SOS for assistance? 

Chances are it will be a superhero who answers the call and arrives like a speeding bullet to save the day. 

Before they get down to the business at hand though, don’t forget to first ask to see their current and official world superhero registration. Disclaimer: Your insurance may be invalidated if you use an unregistered superhero. Click on the logo above to gain entry to the brave new world of superheroes. The site serves as a forum and resource centre for the superhero community. Check out the minimum criteria for registration as well as;

• the gadget gallery
• the hero support page
• legal advice
• the costume advisory service
• tutorials

In the page called “Coming out of the phone booth” you’ll find information about all registered superheroes, their costumes, their superpowers, any particular categories of crime they fight, their arch enemies and their region of influence. You’ll find their contact details as well as it seems the most effective way to contact a superhero in 2009 is via email. 

There is also a record of all retired superheroes, all superheroes in training and another list of applicants still to be formally vetted and considered for professional registration. It’s an organisation that takes it’s responsibilities seriously.

It feels good to know that someone out there is making sure that superheroes today maintain the same high standards that we’ve grown to rely on to save us from evil.