Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Maharishi Guide to Zen








The darkest hours come just before the dawn. So if you’re going to steal the neighbour’s milk and newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

Sex is like air. It only becomes really important when you aren’t getting any.

Do not walk behind me for I might not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just fuck off and leave me alone.

Generally speaking, you aren’t learning if your lips are moving.

Never forget that you are unique, like everybody else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

Before you judge someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Some day we are the flies; some days we are the windscreens.

Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it

Author unknown


  1. those gardens are very hard to maintain. Too often one wants to pick up one of the rocks and hurl it at someone. or thing.

  2. Lol Punch, I can imagine though I've never had one.

  3. Number Three.
    I'm making it my mantra for the day!

    Thanks for the laugh, Lou!

  4. The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.

  5. Is the addendum to the last one "Once is Experience - Twice is a mistake"

    Oh and I experienced that it's a mistake to tell this to a teenager.

  6. How about Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and you can get rid of him for the whole weekend.
    I'm just saying.

  7. My favorite one was the dont stand in front,behind, or beside me.


  8. Har har har. God this is funny. You have made my end of the day.

    I have one to add: When I was young I could not figure out what I wanted to do. Now I am sorry I found out.

  9. Glag y'all got a chuckle. Tough lesson learned Joanne? I totally agree Lori - always sounded like a good plan to me...

    Nice to see you JJ, it's been a while since you graced us with your presence here.

    Welcome Chelsea - come back soon y'hear?

  10. Glag *snigger* of course I mean 'glad'


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