The darkest hours come just before the dawn. So if you’re going to steal the neighbour’s milk and newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
Sex is like air. It only becomes really important when you aren’t getting any.
Do not walk behind me for I might not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just fuck off and leave me alone.
Generally speaking, you aren’t learning if your lips are moving.
Never forget that you are unique, like everybody else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
Before you judge someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Some day we are the flies; some days we are the windscreens.
Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it