Christmas eve and all is well

I’m sitting on my little patio sipping a delicious pomegranate cocktail and munching on fresh cherries while waiting for some friends to arrive for Christmas eve drinks (and a barbecue later). 

It’s a clear blue sky day and it’s getting a bit warmer as the afternoon progresses. Even though it doesn’t get horribly hot in NZ, we do have very thin ozone which equals a killer sun. This reminds me I better go slap on some sunscreen and get the sun umbrella out before I start to grow a melanoma glow.

Have a merry Christmas all.  Stay safe and enjoy your loved ones if you’re lucky enough to be spending time with them this season. Stay warm if it’s cold where you are and stay cool if it’s warm.

I’ll catch all of my lovely bloggy friends after Christmas and remember; you can’t make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

Louise

I dropped Rory off here to Westhaven Marina earlier today where his dad’s boat is moored so they can go sailing for the day.  The sea breeze was lovely and I almost wished I could tag along.

Another decade down

I know that purists will say that the decade isn’t over until the end of 2010 but it’s my blog and I say now’s the right time for a review of the first decade of the 21st century.

Here are some of the highlights according to Louise.

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2000: I started the year in between jobs but with definite prospects so no real concerns. I had a 7 year old son, no man (some things never change) and I had my eye on a house that I coveted for my very first ownership experience.  At one stage that year Rory got airlifted off his dad’s yacht after getting hit in the head by the boom – scary stuff, he didn’t know anyone for hours afterwards. The year ended with me and Rory settled into the new house, a promotion at work, a boyfriend of sorts and a brand new nephew. A perplexing choice (in my opinion) was made made by the American electorate but it was a very good year all in all.

2001: My best friend moved to Australia and the boyfriend became an ex. Horrible happenings in the US. The only bright side was that a lovely puppy, later named Bonnie, was born and adopted by yours truly. I quit smoking that year and lasted 8 months before falling off the wagon. Rory racked up over 40,000 kilometres in flights between Auckland and his dad’s place in Perth, Western Australia. I went nowhere.

2002: Met another cheating jerk. Swore off men forever.

2003: Menopause. At 37 years old. Rory turned 10 and to celebrate his dad took him to Africa to explore for 3 months. I cried myself to sleep every night from missing him though the grief did great things for my career as I worked 15 hours a day and earned another promotion. The US declared war on Iraq – I remember something about WMD? My older sister was very ill but thankfully recovered fully. I got away briefly at the end of the year to spend time (and money) with my friend in Victoria, Australia.

2004: Got to Thailand again this year – one of my very fave places to escape the kiwi winter. Also got in another visit to Victoria. Another nephew born – that made four but still no nieces. Everything else was bad that year - horrible happenings, this time in Spain and atrocities continued in Darfur. And then that catastrophic tsunami on Boxing Day to finish the year.

2005: Finally quit chewing my nails to mark my 40th birthday. Katrina struck. It was 10 years since we lost my sister so we had a party to remember her by. Rory spent Christmas snowboarding in Japan with his dad – it was my first Christmas without him and it was hard.

2006: Rory started high school. Saddam Hussein was hanged and Steve Irwin got stabbed by a stingray. Crikey.

2007: Sinn Fein and the DUP hammered out an agreement for a power-sharing government in northern Ireland. Benazir Bhutto was assassinated. Rory’s dad moved back to NZ and for the first time ever we did the every second weekend part time dad thing – I started to remember what a real social life was like. I drank too much.

2008: Quit smoking again (18 months now and still going strong). Got addicted to Facebook. The Kiwis won the Rugby League World Cup and the hottest tennis player ever, Rafael Nadal, is ranked #1. Somali entrepreneurs found their niche in the piracy business. I met a man with real potential until the day he slammed Rory against a wall for looking at him sideways. Got a couple of long weekends away in Australia. Started new role managing projects at work and commuting to Wellington city twice a week.  Rory had a tumour removed from inside his jaw – it was benign. I spent most of the year exhausted. Bought new house and moved in just before Christmas. Whew, what  a year!

2009: Started the year with a new pastime – blogging. Met lots of wonderful new friends. There were terrible bushfires in Victoria so I went to console my friend. Witnessed a terrible car accident. Started reading about Tao Buddhism. Centre-right government elected in NZ for the first time in many years. I bought a lovely new car. A never ending cycle of study. Rory turned 16 and attended his first school ball, my mum and dad both turned 70, dad retired finally and my youngest nephew started school – still no nieces, have given up on that ever happening now. 

 

 

 

 

 

…and here we are nearly at the very end of 2009. That was my decade in brief; how about sharing yours?

 

 

Happy Christmas everyone.

Speed demon

Just came across this video on YouTube of my younger brother indulging his reckless pursuit of adrenaline. He bought this toy a year or so back and though it’s not a top fueler, it apparently provides plenty of excitement. I’m told it’s a 560 cubic inch big block that runs on methanol with an 871 supercharger. I think he’s gotten it as quick as 350 kph (just over 200 mph) which sounds pretty damn quick to me.

Sunday fun

I had a great Sunday afternoon with my nephew Dillon yesterday; we visited a friend of mine who has horses and got to spend a couple of hours on horseback.  Here’s Dillon on a beautiful chestnut hunter named Ralph, being lead around until he got comfortable enough to give it a go on his own.                                 My friend also has the cutest wee miniature horse named Napoleon Dynamite.  Very fitting name as he’s quite a handful. Am getting in to the shower shortly to get ready for work and am walking like a bow legged cowboy. Am way out of practice with this horse riding lark. Was great fun though.

Even more about me

I nicked this from Daniels blog over at The Pursuit of What Matters to Me. Thanks Daniel. Feel free to join in anyone who wants to.

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1. Do you have any tertiary qualification?
Yes I have. I also continue to struggle along with study – it’s a never ending process.

2. What was the amount of your last electric bill?
NZ$63 for a months worth of power. Not sure how this compares but this is considered a very modest bill here especially as I don’t have gas as well – I’m tight as all hell with regards power usage.

3. Do you have life insurance?
Yes (single mother and all that).

4. How many hours per week do you work?
Around 45-50.

5. Have you ever attended a Toastmasters event?
No.

6. Favourite place to attend Happy Hour?
Nowhere these days. Occasionally I meet a girlfriend after work for a wine but that is few and far between these days. 

7. How far is your commute to work each day?
When I am working in Auckland my travel is only 15 minutes each way but on the once or twice weekly days working in our capital city, Wellington, the commute is about 2 hours each way – yuck!!!

8. What time do you get up every morning for work?
We’re up at around 6am to get to Rory’s school bus at 7.10am. I then head straight to work so am there by 7.30am most days.

9. What is your definition of sleeping in late?
On a Saturday I can sleep and then doze until almost midday if there’s nothing I have to get up for. 

10. Do you check your cholesterol on a yearly basis?
Yes along with all the other checks that are deemed necessary.

11. How large was your first cell phone?
Not that big as I was fairly late to the cell phone game. Only flash businessmen or ‘out and about’ types like trades or sales people, had the bricks here in NZ. My first cell phone was in the 2G era, it was a Nokia that I got in about 1995 or 1996 I think.

12. Does your employer provide good health insurance?
No, that’s not something employers do here as we have a public health service that covers all New Zealanders. It’s not that great but it’s free.

13. Did you use the Internet to write a research paper?
When I was at university there was no such thing as the internet, well as far as I was aware of anyway.

14. Have you attended a High School reunion?
Yes. Had a few laughs but I think I’ll leave it there. Anyone I still like I am in contact with anyway so no further need.

15. How many jobs have you held in your career? 
I have had about 10 jobs over the years.

16. Have you ever been fired or laid off from a job?
No.

17. What is your favourite drink?
Jim Beam and Zero Coke in a tall glass with lots of ice. Yummmmm.

18. What’s the most expensive bottle of wine that you’ve bought?
Not much. I buy inexpensive wine – I don’t have a snobby palate.

19. Have you been divorced?
Nope.

20. How old were you when you stopped getting ID-ed for alcohol?
In my early 20s if I remember rightly.

21. Favourite casino?
None. Hate the places, they reek of desperation.

22. Are you happier now than you were in high school?
Yes and No. High school was great carefree fun but now is cool too.

23. Did you ever have a Hypercolor shirt?
Yes I had a yellow/green one though I didn’t wear it much. It always seemed a bit weird wearing a shirt that clearly showed that you were hottest under your arms and boobs.

24. Do you remember when Michael Jackson was black and was attracted to older people?
I remember him as black, yes.

25. Do you remember when MTV actually played music videos?
No we didn’t have MTV in NZ until after it had gone to shit.

26. Have you had a will made?
Yes, within a month of Rory being born. Updated twice since then.

27. What music was in your cd/cassette player when you were 16?
It was a cassette player and it was Patti Smith, The Clash, Led Zeppelin and Simon and Garfunkel.

28. Favourite fancy/upscale restaurant?
Don’t have one. My favourite eateries are cheap and cheerful local Thai places.

29. Where were you when you found out about 9-11?
My clock radio went off at around 6.00am as usual on the morning of 12 September but the morning DJ crew I wake to each day were talking about something serious instead of the usual joking around. I got up and turned on the TV and was horrified.

30. Do you have any children yet?
Yes, one.

Good vibes

Two of my colleagues are sitting at home with their families right now waiting to hear that missing loved ones on the south coast of Upolu and in a northern Tongan island are okay. Or not okay as the case may be. It’s been a horrible day. Though New Zealand has been unaffected geographically, many Samoan and Tongan kiwis have friends or family back in the islands who’ve experienced property damage and worse.

Sending good vibes to all the Samoan, Tongan and Cook islands.

Culture and cappuccino

 

 

 

My sister and I are both fans of painter Rita Angus and we decided today to check out the latest exhibition of her work at the Auckland City Art Gallery. 

Rita Angus was a feminist and a pacifist and was one of this country's pioneer modern painters. She was prolific for over 40 years until she died in 1970. I particularly enjoy the oils she painted in her later years - here are four of my favourites.

Central Otago

Boats in the Bay

Fog, Hawkes Bay

View from Tinakori Road

I had been hoping to buy a lithograph of ‘Boats’ to have mounted for my bedroom wall but the $90.00 price tag was unfortunately out of my range. Instead we treated ourselves at the patisserie a few doors down – fabulous creamy cappuccino and delicious lemon tart.

It was a good part of a great day out, I hope your Sunday is as much fun.

**EDIT** I will post about what we got up to this morning, before the gallery, at some stage over the next couple of days.

Thursday sunset

Driving home from a friends place earlier this evening I got a nice shot of a pretty pink sunset. Mt grandmother used to always say that ‘a red sky at night is a shepherds delight‘ so I am hoping that means that we might be in for another beautiful spring day in Papakura tomorrow. Have a great Thursday everyone.

Be sure of today

I was reading a book a few weeks ago that was given to me by my darling grandmother before she died. Inside the book I found a beautiful handmade bookmark with a message in my grandmothers tiny handwriting.

“No matter what the future holds, if you can you should eat good food today, enjoy the sunlight today, spend time with loved ones today and be thankful for it all. Do not look back on happiness or dream of it coming in the future, be sure only of today and do not let yourself be cheated out of it .”

I intend trying harder to live my life by that credo.

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By the way this is my 200th post since I restarted my blog in February. So many words, so much rubbish. 

200

200

200

200

200

200

200

200

200

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When all is said and done

Sam from “Yes, I know Sam is a boy’s name” posted recently about what she hopes her obituary will say when the time comes in the far distant future. Slightly morbid and rather egocentric but hey, that sounds like my kind of thing. Here’s my fantasy effort.

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Louise 12/8/1965 – 13/8/2065

Forever cherished friend, daughter, sister, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother. Critically acclaimed short story writer and poet in her later years, Lou was also a long time environmental campaigner, gastronome and world traveller. Mother of renowned educationalist and peace activist Rory, grandmother of Booker Prize winner Emily and Nobel Prize (Chemistry) winner James. Lou was awarded an honorary PhD in 2021 for her philanthropic endeavours and unwavering pursuit of social justice.

Lou died peacefully yesterday in her historic Arrowtown home surrounded by her family, the day after celebrating her 100th birthday and receiving a congratulatory telegraph from His Majesty King Henry IX. She remained the rambunctious matriarch to the end.

Great-granddaughter Dr Louise Harrison spoke on behalf of the family thanking everyone for the hundreds of kind messages and floral tributes.

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Anyone else macabre enough to want to think about what theirs might say? Come on, give it a go, let your imagination run wild. It’s actually quite fun.

 

 

 

 

Florence Nightingale's grave St Margaret's Church, East Wellow, England

Photo ‘borrowed’ from the website Solarnavigator.net

The results are in…

…and unfortunately they don’t make for comfortable reading.

My post of July 7, Vote YES New Zealand, talked about the then upcoming citizens initiated referendum on child discipline.

The current (2007) law allows parents to use force to prevent harmful, criminal, offensive or disruptive behaviour and to perform "the normal daily tasks that are incidental to good care and parenting". In the highly successful Scandinavian style*, the use of force for corrective purposes was outlawed.

This law was in response to New Zealand’s shameful record with looking after our children. In a country of only 4,000,000 we lose up to 12 kids every year to beatings which are defended as discipline gone wrong. Another 443 preschool children were hospitalised with injuries from assaults in the years between 1995 - 2004.

In the last fortnight in New Zealand 3 pre-schoolers have died from non-accidental injuries.

Who cares?

The ‘Family First’ lobby forced this referendum in an effort to have the government rethink the law and the results show that 88% of respondents believe that the law should give them the right to discipline their children how they see fit including the use of corporal punishment.

I get that the abusers aren’t the ordinary mum and dad kiwis who love their kids and would never want to hurt them. I also get that any law isn’t going to stop those who seriously hurt their children intentionally but we have to start somewhere and if that means criminalising smacking to remove the acceptability and normalcy of adult on child assault then I’m all for it. We’ve managed to achieve this with spousal violence in only a couple of generations – it’s not gone but it sure isn’t acceptable anymore like it was.

Unfortunately it seems I am one of only 12% of New Zealanders who feel this way. Actually only 54% of eligible New Zealanders believed this was an important enough issue to bother voting on at all.

Even if we do give the odd smack, shouldn't we all aspire, at the very least, to raise our children without violence?

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*It’s been illegal to smack your child in Sweden since 1975 and despite their population being triple ours, they lose an average of only 4 pre-schoolers to child abuse most years.  Still too many I know but a tiny proportion per capita of our shameful result here in NZ.

If you can stomach some details around how these kiwi kids are dying read here. An NZ Herald article by Dita de Boni yesterday.

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**EDIT**

It’s 7:45pm on Saturday night and as usual I’m wasting a few last minutes online before dressing for what should hopefully be a fun night. A friend is turning 44 this week coming (a couple of weeks after my own 44th) and we’ve opted for a shared party this year. It’s at her place as she has a lovely home with a big party room basement. A few of us have been over there this afternoon getting the place party ready and decorating etc. Must go now and finish the beauty routine, I had my hair done this morning so at least I don’t need to worry about that but I’ve still got to throw on my party dress and apply the war paint and the bling.

I’ve got Linkin Park blaring from the stereo to help me get in the mood. Fun fun fun.

Unconsummated I presume?

Great story in yesterdays New Zealand Herald. Even Germans screw things up sometimes.

Bride spent wedding night with crate of vodka reports Reuters.

A German bride spent her wedding night flaked out next to a crate of vodka before being rescued by police. Cologne police were forced to rescue the 30-year-woman when the BMW she was unconscious in began to overheat in the sun. Once roused she climbed out of the broken window, still wearing her wedding dress. The boozy bride apparently had no idea where her husband was.

 

Photo courtesy of Essex Wedding Services.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Happy Birthday to me!!

44 years ago today my tiny little mother gave birth to an 11lb (pre metric days here in 1965) monster.

I have another day off work today so I am heading off shortly for a leisurely lunch with my best mate and then to collect the new car later this afternoon. This evening a big group of us are meeting at my favourite Thai restaurant for dinner.

The family dinner was last night and lovely pressies were had including my favourite perfume, a new coffee mug and vouchers to spend at Repco on my new car (seat covers or whatever).

I’ve also been splashing out, ostensibly for my birthday, on tickets; me and 2 friends going to Cirque du Soleil on Saturday coming and another friend and I scored VIP Pearl Jam tickets for November.

Fanfreakintastic! Life is good!

Vote YES New Zealand

In 2007, by an overwhelming majority of 113 to 8 votes and with the support of the majority of New Zealanders, Parliament granted children protection from assault by their parents. They repealed a 1959 law that allowed physical force to be used for the purpose of ‘correction’ of the child and thereby provided a perfect hiding place for parents who physically abused their children.

The 2007 law is working well but is under threat from an unnecessary and very expensive referendum, to be held by postal ballot over the next 4 weeks.

The referendum has been instigated chiefly by a lobby group called Family First. They claim that most New Zealanders disagree with the 2007 law and maintain that the 1959 law should be reinstated.

The old law wasn’t working though. In fact children were dying from ‘punishment’. In the last few years New Zealand has experienced the most shocking number of child deaths at the hands of those responsible for their care. It’s our hidden shame.

The referendum is worded is such a way that many will vote ‘No’ thereby completely missing the point that it was the ability to lawfully physically discipline our children which allowed child abusers to walk free. The current law is being administered well – the police aren’t hanging around looking for every parent who smacks their child on the hand for trying to poke a screwdriver in a wall socket or grabs them roughly to stop them running out on to the road, in fact the new law allows for these types of situations. Conversely what has happened is that parents who’ve abused their children have been convicted and held accountable.

"Should a smack as part of good parental correction be a criminal offence in New Zealand?"

Yes, it should. Violence only begets violence.

All grown up (almost)

My son went through a rite of passage last night at his first senior school ball. A fabulous time was had by all and he’s even more in ‘serious like’ with the sweet Rhiannon.

It takes my breath away to think that next week Rory will be 16 and he has only 18 months left of high school before he starts university in 2011. He’s decided he wants to teach; senior level history, geography and biology so he’s planning to complete two degrees in arts and science. Teaching will never make him rich but I am very happy he’s found his passion. He has the perfect attitude for it, he’s caring, calm, patient and tolerant and importantly I believe, he laughs easily.

As jadedj said poignantly in his post of yesterday, there’s a sadness to it. My baby boy is nearly all grown up and not needing me in the same way he has done for the last 16 years.

Bitter sweet. But of course I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Motherhood

My wonderful mother turned 70 years old today and my sister and I  had planned a big surprise dinner party at mum’s favourite local restaurant.  The whole restaurant was booked to accommodate the 80 invited guests.

Somehow we’d managed to keep it from her. She thought the hair and facial appointment and the manicure we’d booked for her today were simply a birthday treat and not party preparation.

Unfortunately late last night she was feverish and struggling to breathe. Dad called an ambulance and mum’s been in the high dependency unit in hospital since then with a bad case of double pneumonia. The hospital recommended we all come in at about midnight as it appeared that mum’s fragile heart (she has mitral valve disease) was failing. It was incredibly worrying, we thought we were going to lose her.

I am very very pleased to share that there has been some good  improvement today, and especially this afternoon, after a barrage of antibiotics. Her temperature is down, her heart is ‘running’ smoothly again and she’s breathing more easily.

A couple of friends helped me with the huge cancellation job this morning - the birthday celebration that never was. We’ll organise something on a smaller scale when mum’s better.

I love you.

A life cut short

WARNING: Slightly grisly story follows.

I only found this yesterday though it’s a couple of months old. 3 April, check it out here: www.msnbc.msn.com.

James Hines was a preacher and a funk musician from Allendale, South Carolina. He was a visible character. He was 2 metres tall (that’s about 6’7” I think) and an albino black man. 

60 year old Mr Hines died of cancer in 2004. Inexplicably a worker at the funeral home used an electric saw to take off his feet so he would fit comfortably in a standard size coffin. This despite the funeral home having extra height coffins available. Mrs Hines says she wasn’t told that she needed a bigger one and didn’t consider it herself until people started commenting at the funeral that the casket didn’t look big enough. Nothing came of the questions though and the body was buried. The feet were buried with Mr Hines in the casket.

In April this year, after persistent rumours circulating in the town since 2004, the local police exhumed the body to confirm the situation.

Mrs Hines has now received an undisclosed sum in compensation from Cave Funeral Home though this hasn’t halted the police investigation. Apparently under South Carolina law, destroying or desecrating human remains is punishable by up to 10 years in prison.

Freaky. Taking ‘solution focus’ to a whole new gruesome level. 

“I was kind of like smoothing things out finally. But now it's like starting all over again," Ann Hines said. Sad.

What’s in a name?

• Major
• 4real
• Talula does the hula from Hawaii
• Bishop
• Spiral Cicada
• Cinderella
• Duke

What do these have in common? 

An attempt has been made to register all of these given names. Most though have been disallowed by the New Zealand Department of Internal Affairs (Birth, Deaths and Marriages).

I can’t believe some of the names that idiotic parents want to saddle their offspring with - life is hard enough for goodness sake.

The New Zealand Registrar General of Births, Deaths and Marriages Brian Clarke  said names can be declined for registration if they may cause offence to a reasonable person, are unreasonably long (generally more than 100 characters) or resemble an official title or rank.  Names using numerals will also be declined.

The applicant can have a negative decision reviewed by the Courts if they’re determined.

Do you agree with the sort of guidelines as above or so should we be allowed to name our children whatever we want? What are the rules in your country?

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References:

• Dominion Post: 24 July 2008
• 3News.co.nz: 29 April 2009
• Brisbane Times: 22 June 2007

What ever Wednesday

What ever happened to 2 year olds Adlan and Nikita?

Earlier this year 2 year old boys were reunited with their biological families following a 2007 hospital mix up wherein 2 families took the wrong boy home. One mother was Chechen but both mothers gave birth to sons on March 1 2009 in a Russian hospital.

Last I heard in The Guardian on 1 April blue-eyed Adlan had been renamed Nikita and returned to his biological mother in Russia while dark haired Nikita had been renamed Ali and repatriated to Chechnya and his family. 

I can only imagine how very difficult the process would have been. It would be nice to hear an update about how the boys and their families were doing. 

Or would it?

Would I actually want to hear that things weren’t working out for what ever reason? Perhaps it’s better assuming, nay trusting, that everything worked out just the way it should.  In this fairytale world of mine everyone is happy and both boys are settling in successfully with their new family.

Я живу в сказке.

Selfish

Britains oldest mother-to-be dismisses concerns about her age. "It's not my physical age that's important - it's how I feel inside," she said. 

Yeah, right!

The London Telegraph reported yesterday that 66 year old  divorcee Elizabeth Adeney of Suffolk is 8 months pregnant with her first child conceived via IVF treatment administered in the Ukraine.

Mrs Adeney, a wealthy businesswoman, is said to have been "desperate" for a baby, and was "over the moon" when she discovered that she had fallen pregnant.She’ll be 67 by the time the baby comes along and if she’s still alive, she’ll be 80 when the child turns 13.

Selfish cow.

She has considered only her own wants, not that of the young child she’s likely to leave an orphan at around the age of 10. Emotional scarring practically guaranteed.

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Global Day of Action

Join Amnesty International and death penalty opponents all over the world in supporting the Global Day of Action for Troy Davis today (May 19th). Go to the US Amnesty International website for information and to find out what you can do to help.

Check out my post of April 30 for more information.

Mothers Day

Had a delicious breakfast in bed this morning for Mothers Day and scored a lovely new pair of slippers which is great with winter fast approaching.

I think Rory was trying hard to get me out of my ‘funk’ of the last couple of days and suggested we jump in the car and go get his suit hire organised for the school ball on June 6. He rang his date as she wanted to come and bring her dress so they could co-ordinate their look. We picked her up on the way and I watched his eyes light up as she came down her front steps. He’s besotted.

It was a great idea to get out of the house for a couple of hours. It was wonderful seeing him looking so grown up (and suave even) in a beautiful black single breasted jacket with a charcoal shirt and silvery grey embroidered waistcoat and tie. I enjoy watching him and his girl interact; he’s gentlemanly and considerate - I’m really proud of the man he’s becoming.

I love you son.