Sunday, August 23, 2009

When all is said and done

Sam from “Yes, I know Sam is a boy’s name” posted recently about what she hopes her obituary will say when the time comes in the far distant future. Slightly morbid and rather egocentric but hey, that sounds like my kind of thing. Here’s my fantasy effort.


Louise 12/8/1965 – 13/8/2065

Forever cherished friend, daughter, sister, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother. Critically acclaimed short story writer and poet in her later years, Lou was also a long time environmental campaigner, gastronome and world traveller. Mother of renowned educationalist and peace activist Rory, grandmother of Booker Prize winner Emily and Nobel Prize (Chemistry) winner James. Lou was awarded an honorary PhD in 2021 for her philanthropic endeavours and unwavering pursuit of social justice.

Lou died peacefully yesterday in her historic Arrowtown home surrounded by her family, the day after celebrating her 100th birthday and receiving a congratulatory telegraph from His Majesty King Henry IX. She remained the rambunctious matriarch to the end.

Great-granddaughter Dr Louise Harrison spoke on behalf of the family thanking everyone for the hundreds of kind messages and floral tributes.


Anyone else macabre enough to want to think about what theirs might say? Come on, give it a go, let your imagination run wild. It’s actually quite fun.





Florence Nightingale's grave St Margaret's Church, East Wellow, England

Photo ‘borrowed’ from the website


  1. Very nice...
    Mine would read more like...

    the Obit...
    What a peice of work. Made everyone uncomfortable, made you think at the Easter Brunch.
    We all chipped in and bought a head stone, it is to read...

    'Here Lies an Obscure Shit"

  2. The third part of the hitherto unidentified man – his head – enabled police to determine his name as ‘Simon Butler’, but no trace of his relatives or his background has been found. It has been assumed he was indulging in an illegal activity of some kind. The body-parts with be disposed of at an unnamed crematorium.

  3. Lol Punchinello, the obit in the new self deprecating fashion. 'Obscure' I do agree with though - I have no clue what you're on about at least half the time, so much so that when I figure something out it actually makes me feel clever.

    That is gruesome Simon and even sadder than my nightmare of dying alone and being eaten by my hungry dog.

  4. I'd like mine to say
    "He was nice.
    People liked him, many loved him.
    And he loved them right back."

  5. Thanks for for you kind words, I would love for you to meet my daughter. She is a bright, creative women and she says to me, 'dad, what are you talking about.' (with love)
    A lot of adverts directed towards young people say think outside the box. I am so very sad to report to you, 'If you really do that' they will put in another box and not listen to you, and say to others 'well he can't think out side that box.'

    Soooo let revise the Headstone.

    Here lies an Obscure Obfucator, finally thinking inside the box.

    chuckle. by the way, that is way i have a cat. They will not eat you, they just sit on your chest and meow.

  6. Recently a friend was telling me about someone she knew who had been going on these Wizard retreats. One of the lessons they were to do was to write the speech they would give at their 100th birthday party.

    Without hesitation I offered mine "where are my f***ing presents?"
    As for an headstone they could probably write the same thing. I am pretty shallow.

  7. Another cope out here...too much gray matter required for a full out obit. But, I am pretty sure what the headstone will read:

    A good man, kilt by an idjet drug-crazed obscure shit.

  8. Wonderful post, Lou.

    Mine would read: "She's around here somewhere.
    Her last words were 'How hard can it be?'"

  9. Bob, that's all that really counts I suppose. I obviously have a need to leave a mark even if it's not actually mine but a descendant of mine.

    Lori lol. I can imagine myself as a rambunctious 100 year demanding the same. I'd also not be shy about saying if I though a gift sucked!

    jadedj - we'll just have to make damn sure that never the twain shall meet!

    Thanks Kathryn - going out in style eh or is that just my filty mind?


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