 |
| Christian Louboutin |
 |
| Givenchy |
 |
| Dolce and Gabbana |
 |
| Jimmy Choo |
“A hacker is being blamed for the display of a two-minute pornographic video on an electronic billboard in downtown Moscow that usually screens advertising clips.”
“Drivers in downtown Moscow squinted in disbelief as an electronic highway billboard blazed a two-minute pornographic video instead of its regular advertising features.”
It would be enough to make anyone's drive home from work a bit more interesting. Don’t worry about checking YouTube, I already have (as a public service of course) and I can confirm that all videos of the billboard malfunction have already been removed.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realise you're wrong.
Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "peopl
e you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish writing a text message.
Lol has often gone from meaning "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories.
Whenever I'm in Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do thanks.
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save the changes to my 22 page report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
I hate leaving my house feeling ultra confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about 1 in every 10 songs.
Why is a school zone 40kph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for paedophiles...
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
….and finally;
The other night I ordered takeaway Chinese food, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included 2 sets of plastic cutlery. Hmmmm. Someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least 2 people eating to require this amount of food. I was eating by myself.
Ten random facts to (further)clutter your mind:
The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
Minus 40 degrees Celsius is exactly the same as minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit.
The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
Every human spent about half an hour as a single cell.
Each of the suits on a deck of cards represents the four major pillars of the economy in the middle ages: heart represented the Church, spades represented the military, clubs represented agriculture, and diamonds represented the merchant class.
Diet Coke was invented in 1982.
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 2 m (about 6 feet) away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
Elephants are the only mammals that can't jump.
Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.
According to suicide statistics, Monday is the favoured day for self-destruction.
These signs have gone up in my town, Papakura, over the last couple of months. They’re certainly eye catching though creepy.
The delightful and fun Joanne from Joanne Moving Forward – half speed has tagged me to share 10 things about myself that readers may not know. Well any of you that read this blog regularly know that I compulsively over share almost everything going on in my life so this isn’t going to be an easy assignment.
I will tag three of my newest followers as I’m keen to get them sharing a bit about themselves. Please guys. I realise this is probably not your style at all but I’m nosey OK? Give a girl a break.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------OK, deep breath and here goes…
1) I have blue eyes and fair skin. Gorgeous!
2) I’m somewhat wayward church wise but have given my own child a Catholic education. Hypocritical? Maybe, but the RC’s do good schooling and a bit of dogma never seriously hurt anyone.
3) I had a Norwegian Hooded rat named Seamus for years when I was in high school. I loved that rat.
4) My teenage son points out that I guilt him into doing stuff, yikes, I’m turning into my mother. Must work on that!
5) My favourite painting is Botticelli’s Birth of Venus. It takes my breath away. I have still never made to to the Uffizi to see the real thing but one day I will. 
6) I am mathematically challenged. Even simple arithmetic ain’t simple to me.
7) I am shamefully monolingual. I used to gather as much as I needed to get by very basically when travelling but have never shown any commitment to learning a second language properly. Am thinking about starting night classes with my dad though and learning Italian. He already passably speaks 3 languages.
8) I will watch almost any sport on TV.
9) I can ride a motorbike.
10) On a cold and rainy winter Sunday afternoon (like today) I can easily stay in bed all day. Today is proof of that. I have slept, finished my book, dozed a bit, watched a DVD on my laptop and now written this post and it is now 3.15pm. Rory’s out so I don’t intend getting up even now. Lazy cow.
Sas published this quote on her blog sas’ magical mystery tour and I love it. I’m seriously considering it for my own gravestone.
BRILLIANT!' This meme is unashamedly stolen from the blog of the ultra sophisticated edder, “I don’t care for your tone.” Join in.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The 7 deadly sins
Pride: What is your biggest contribution to the world? My enormous capacity to take the piss out of people who think they know it all. There aren’t that many of us who actually do.
Envy: What does someone have that you wish were yours? Abs
Gluttony: What did you eat last night? Enough panzotti to feed a modest sized Argentinean village followed by half a family size block of Cadbury chocolate (which perhaps explains the sans abs situation).
Lust: What really lights your fire? Porn
Wrath: What really pissed you off? The fact that every single time I try to plug in a USB device it’s upside down. How is that even possible when there’s a 50:50 chance of getting it right? It’s a freakin’ conspiracy and I can prove it - it involves a grassy knoll and a fake moon landing.
Greed: Name something you hoard and keep from others: Old newspapers – I have 3 rooms full of them now. I’m considering leasing a storage unit so I can extend my collection.
Sloth: What’s the laziest thing you do? When training new workers, I always give incomplete or misleading instructions as this ensures weeks of hilarity as they seriously f**k things up.
It is said that on this day in 1678, Lady Godiva, a local noblewoman, stripped naked and rode her horse through the town of Coventry in England to protest her husbands harsh taxes on the people working his land. 
Artist: John Collier. 1897
He supposedly initiated the naked ride when, tired at her repeated requests, he told if she would ride through town naked he would review the taxes.
The story follows that Lady Godiva asked all of the towns residents to stay indoors and to shutter their windows while she made her ride and all obeyed except for one young man named Tom who peeped through the crack in the shutters when she rode past. He creating the Peeping Tom of today.
According to the fable Lord Godiva was true to his word and reduced the taxes on the villagers making life much easier for them.
A woman of strength and courage. I aspire to that strength and fortitude, though without the public nudity.
What do you aspire to?
1) What is your current obsession? Statistics. Not an easy choice of study when one is mathematically challenged but I had to take the plunge for my careers sake.
2) What are you wearing today? I am having a day off work and it’s freezing. I’ve just got out of bed so I am wearing baby blue pyjamas with tiny little cartoon elephants on them – I am a big fan of elephants.
3) What's for dinner? No idea yet. Nothing imaginative I can guarantee you that.
4) What would you eat for your last meal? It would involve pasta and red wine and fresh fish and bread. 
And pavlova and cream with strawberries to finish. It’s a last meal for goodness sake, who cares about calories?
5) What's the last thing you bought? A DVD copy of the movie Trainspotting. I loved that movie when I saw it years ago so I re-watched it last night. It’s shocking but entertaining.
6) What are you listening to right now? The local rock flavoured radio station. Pearl Jam classic Better Man is playing right now. Love this song!
7) What do you think of the person who tagged you? sas from sas’ magical mystery tour is a thoughtful and intelligent kiwi chick. She’s cool.
8) If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be? On a huge Montana ranch. Not that I have ever been to Montana but in the movies it looks like somewhere I’d want to live.
9) If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go? London to catch up with a couple of good friends or maybe New York for a quick peek. Or perhaps Fiji for a swim in the sun in tropical clear waters mmmmmm.
10) Which language do you want to learn? Spanish
11) What's your favourite quote (for now)? Sorry I can’t limit it to one. A couple of nights ago I re-watched a few episodes on DVD of a kiwi TV series called Outrageous Fortune and I’m still chuckling;
Grandpa: "Life is shit."
Wolf: "What's pushed your button?"
Grandpa: "Being old and useless."
Wolf: "Yeah, well, you get that."
Grandpa: "That's pretty fucking profound son."
"Is texting someone eighteen times and getting nothing back - is that stalking?" – Munter
I'm going to be like a nun - except better dressed. And no church crap." – Pascalle
Van: "What does ironic mean?"
Munter: "It means how come the guy with the job has never got any money for any piss?"
12) What is your favourite colour? Plum right now I think with winter here. I seem to be wearing a lot of deep reds this season, though by no particular design. More to do perhaps with the beautiful maroon 3 inch courts I succumbed to a couple of weeks ago. Italian.
I was too ashamed to post about them at the time seeing as how I am meant to be on an economy drive *sigh*
13) What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe? My winter swing coat. It’s a double breasted, hip length, tiny grey and white checked pure wool number and I feel like Audrey Hepburn when I wear it.
14) What is your dream job? It makes me sad to think about it as I have no idea what my dream job would me. Perhaps a children's author or maybe a teacher? Maybe a travel writer or a professional foodie? All I know is that right now I have to be challenged. One day perhaps I could run my own small business combining my loves of people and food and books and coffee?
15) What's your favourite magazine? Don’t have one. The only time I pick up a magazine is in a doctor or dentist waiting room. Perhaps NZ House and Garden? It’s very stylish and glossy but it’s also about NZ$16 a copy. I’d never spend that much on a magazine.
16) If you had £100 now, what would you spend it on? That’s about NZ$256 right now. Heaps. Don’t even have to think about it. Boots.
17) What are you going to do after this? It’s scheduled maintenance day today. Hair cut, manicure and eyebrows. Am considering adding a facial to the usual mix as am holding a wee soiree tomorrow night.
18) What are your favourite films? See my profile, they’re all listed.
19) What's your favourite fruit? I pretty much only eat seasonal fruit so I need two favourites: oranges in winter, I love the smell. Peaches in summer.
20) What inspires you? A great book. A fantastic sunset. Italian renaissance art. Snorkelling in clear water. A million things inspire me. 
21) Your favourite books? See my profile, they’re all listed.
22) Do you collect anything? Architectural drawings of old houses. The pure lines are fabulous.
23) What are you currently reading? I just started re-reading Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood. I adore this book.
24) Go to your book shelf and take down the first book with a red spine you see, turn to page 26 and type out the first line: “…the moon out of her sphere, if she would continue in it five weeks without changing.” from an 1889 Clarendon Press edition of The Tempest that I bought a couple of years ago at a fair.
25) By what criteria do you judge a person? Tough question. Language I suppose, openness, integrity and let’s not forget that grooming and hygiene are also important.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Answer the questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your invention.
2. Tag eight other people. Tagging, with love: Du Pree, Uamada, Xanadu, edder, Kate, Bob, Lermontov and Tim. Anyone though please feel free to participate (or not) just as you desire.
Artist unknown
Edder from I Don’t Care for your Tone shared her top 15 pet peeves and invited others to do the same. Here are mine:
Have you had need of a superhero recently?
Perhaps you’re a famous scientist with the cure for swine flu but before you can save the world you need rescuing from a sheer precipice 500 metres above the ground on a deserted pacific island? Or perhaps you’re a cop and you’ve run into an evil genius attempting to take over the world but you’re ridiculously undermanned and need some serious help? Perhaps your city has been besieged by a Godzilla type creature and your mayor has sent out an international SOS for assistance?
Chances are it will be a superhero who answers the call and arrives like a speeding bullet to save the day.
Before they get down to the business at hand though, don’t forget to first ask to see their current and official world superhero registration. Disclaimer: Your insurance may be invalidated if you use an unregistered superhero. 
Click on the logo above to gain entry to the brave new world of superheroes. The site serves as a forum and resource centre for the superhero community. Check out the minimum criteria for registration as well as;
In the page called “Coming out of the phone booth” you’ll find information about all registered superheroes, their costumes, their superpowers, any particular categories of crime they fight, their arch enemies and their region of influence. You’ll find their contact details as well as it seems the most effective way to contact a superhero in 2009 is via email.
There is also a record of all retired superheroes, all superheroes in training and another list of applicants still to be formally vetted and considered for professional registration. It’s an organisation that takes it’s responsibilities seriously.
It feels good to know that someone out there is making sure that superheroes today maintain the same high standards that we’ve grown to rely on to save us from evil.
Piccadilly Circus, London late 2008.
I love these flash performances. I would be rapt if I ever witnessed one. So cool. To all you cynics, I know they’re just a marketing ploy but I still think they’re cool.
so wonderful in my bedroom. I can just imagine myself sitting, reading in this chair under the window trying to maximise exposure to the watery winter sunshine that’s on its way. I was absent mindedly googling using the key words “beautiful things” because I am feeling so deprived lately and I happened across a woman of spectacular taste. She’s a Brisbanite (did I just make that up or is that what those of you from Brisbane call yourselves?) and an interior designer. Her name is Anna Spiro. She’s also a blogger and her site is called ‘Absolutely Beautiful Things’ and it certainly is full to the brim with gorgeous photos of fantastic things. The chair in the picture is from Anna’s blog.
Interestingly Anna has apparently just been in Auckland for Easter and has posted some lovely photos of my town that those of you in the northern hemisphere may find worth browsing. She’s very kind to Auckland.
This is a site I’ll be visiting regularly to satisfy my need to see pretty things. One day hopefully I’ll be in a position to have a fabulous home myself *sigh* and I’ll fill it with beautiful things like this chair.
We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and drive on parkways
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as It burns down
And in which you fill in a form by filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race (which of course isn't a race at all)
That is why when the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch, It starts
But when I wind up this observation, It ends.
Author unknown
About me. Kate shared 38 things about herself and inspired me to waste some time doing the same thing. I don’t know though whether I can come up with anywhere near 38 things to share – I’ll aim for 20. If you feel you know quite enough about me already, then read no further :-)
1) I love sailing. I love all kinds of boats.
2) My gra
3) I often do the housework with 1970’s ‘power ballads’ blaring from the stereo. Embarrassing but true!
4) At 19 I fell out of a car travelling at about 90 kph and lost most of the skin off my back.
5) I am addicted to a locally made soap opera called Shortland Street. It’s a medical soap. I watch way too much television.
6) Guns freak me out completely.
7) I was a representative netball player in my late teens. I worked hard and finally made the under 20 regional team. I badly turned my ankle in only the second game of the season. That was that.
8) My favourite movie is The Shawshank Redemption.
9) I callously dumped my date at my senior ball because he was pissing me off. That’s me in the black with my crew. Forgive the fashion it was 1982.
10) My favourite actor is Sean Penn.
11) I am a real girl when it comes to horses. I love them. They’re beautiful. I’m not a bad rider though I rarely get a chance to do it these days.
12) I have tiny feet and hands. My left foot though is a full size bigger than my right foot. I know, I know…I’m a freak!
13) I love tequila. The buzz is great.
14) A Saturday morning ritual for me is daydreaming over the real estate section of the weekend newspaper. I fantasise about owning a piece of land by the sea.
15) My favourite board game is Trivial Pursuit. I hate Monopoly.
16) When I first saw and heard this beautiful wee girl on Britains Got Talent, I almost cried.
17) I don’t eat much red meat.
18) The calculator on my quitting blog site tells me I have not had a cigarette for 300 days and not smoked 10,800 cigarettes.
19) Cryptic crosswords are my daily habit. I’m not great at them but I enjoy trying. I don’t do Sudoku.
20) I love candles and big wrought iron candelabra.
Join in if you’re so inclined and have the time.
Ajey at The Odds are Good but the Goods are Odd just tagged me to participate in a new meme. The following are my responses followed by the rules.
1) What are your current obsessions? My work and my kid
2) Which item from your closet are you wearing most often? New black patent leather pumps
3) Last thing you bought? See above
4) What's for dinner? A hunk of foccacia and a pot of hummus (Rory is away hiking for 2 days so no cooking required)
5) Say something to the person who tagged you: Ajey you constantly surprise me.Your post is practically an interactive experience.
6) What are your favourite vacation spots?
7) Vacation spots you must visit before you die?
8) Three things to do before you die?
9) What are you reading right now?
Miracle in the Andes by Nando Parrado (autobiographical)
10)What is the last movie you saw and enjoyed? Rate it out of 5 stars. It was a re-watch, The World’s Fastest Indian. 3 stars.
11) What’s your guilty pleasure? Movie, coca cola and dark chocolate
12) What’s your favourite smell? Daffodils
13) Best thing you ate or drank lately? Greek salad, bacon, corn fritters and espresso frappe at brunch yesterday mmmmmm
14) Care to share some wisdom? Forget the housework. Jump in the car and go exploring instead.
15) Name the last blog you visited before this one, on which you left a comment. (link and info please!) I visited Moko at Stranger in a Strange Land and commented on his post about the new Godfather II PS3 game that’s due out later this week.
16) Talk about one regret in your life? Letting the expectations of others get in the way of what I wanted
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rules and Invitation to participate:
1) Respond and rework 2) Answer questions on your own blog 3) Replace one question. 4) Add one question 5) Tag three bloggers -
