Thursday, July 16, 2009

Don’t quote me

Punch from The Theater of the Absurd posted yesterday about favourite movie quotes and it made me think about some of the funny ones. Let’s test your knowledge. Without using the net, which well known, post 1970 comedy movies are the following lines from? 

  1. 'tis but a scratch! 
  2. I just thank the lord she didn't live to see her son as a mermaid.
  3. If we don't come down hard on these clowns... we're going to be up to our balls in jugglers!
  4. Warning. Assholes are closer than they appear.
  5. Tea can do many things, Jane, but it can't bring back the dead
  6. Fuck beauty contests. Life is one fucking beauty contest after another. School, then college, then work... Fuck that.
  7. Jimi Hendrix deceased, drugs. Janis Joplin deceased, alcohol. Mama Cass deceased, ham sandwich.
  8. He’s not the Messiah – he’s a very naughty boy.
  9. In English, please. What? You pooped in the refrigerator?
  10. Bathing is a lonely business. Except for fish, fish all bathe together.
  11. You look so beautiful and peaceful, you almost look dead.
  12. This is going straight to the pool room.



How did you score?

11-12/12: You reader are the consummate appreciator of all things comedic. Bet you’re the absolute bomb on quiz nights.

8-10/12: OK not too bad, pretty good even. Keep enjoying but consider expanding your range. Start quoting favoured lines ad nauseam to really prove your mettle.

5-7/12: Very mediocre exposure to classic* comedy. I suggest minimum of one comedy per week for the next 3 months. Co-opt a friend and practice re-enacting the ‘Ministry of Silly Walks’ skit from the Flying Circus to get you in the zone.

2-4/12: You need to have more fun. Instead of that next serious movie you were planning on watching or book you were intending to pick up, try a light-hearted movie instead. It really is the best medicine.

0-1/12: Comedy doesn’t interest you at all. You have far more important things to do with your time than laugh. Dry balls.

*Classic on the Lou scale.


  1. Wow. I only got 4.

    But I'm going to make the argument that I got the "classic" 4. The two Monty Python quotes, Arthur and Little Miss Sunshine.

    I feel challenged. The game is afoot.

  2. I only got two – the Monty Python ones. After that I felt obliged to check, and was slightly relieved to see I’d only seen three of the remaining ones, where my excuse it “I have an appalling memory.”

  3. OK perhaps I should have gone for more obscure Python quotes...rooky mistake - didn't understand my audience.

  4. Hey I got ZERO...hanging head in shame...I also have a crappy memory.

    Did spend many a late Friday night watching Monty Python back in the seventies.

    Oh right now I remember why I can't remember anything.

  5. Lori that is a shocker - many of these you are likely to have seen, maybe just not got a memory for movie lines. We only have so much brain storage space after all, less for some obviously :-) depending on the 1970's.

    Clue: 4 were released before 1982. 5 are English.

  6. Oh Dear I am a comedy fan and I only got 1. ACKKKK. I admit I think at this stage of my life I am running out of RAM and I am just glad I can find the toilet in the middle of the night.

  7. 2...2 lousy quotes...the Python ones. Now I feel bad about myself.

    5 were English? Good lord, I am an Anglophile. I know and understand English things...well, except for the things Simon says...and, I speak English.

    I am such a dunce. I don't deserve to be reading this blog. I'm going to have to block myself from this site.

    Are you sure you didn't make these up?

  8. Okay smarty pants. I have one and only one for you. No cheating.
    "I like to watch"???

  9. Joanne - I like that "running out of RAM" I do know what you mean actually. I notice it increasingly.

    jj very disappointing result I concur but no need though to take the piss. I'm cool with not being the sharpest knife in the drawer. Ignorance is bliss.

    No clue at all sorry Lori though it grieves me to admit it :-)

    Clue 2: 1 movie is Australian. 1 quote is said by the International man of mystery.

  10. 1) Monthy Python and the Holy Grail
    2) Zoolander
    3) Hot Fuzz
    4) Ace Venturer, Pet Detective
    5) Death at a funeral
    6) Little Miss Sunshine
    7) Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery
    8) Monthy Python's Life of Brian
    9) Anchorman
    10) Arthur
    11) The Jerk
    12) The Castle

  11. Oh it is all so easy now that you posted the answers. I did figure out number 7 once you gave the hint.
    If you want to see a really special movie rent Being There with Peter Sellers and Shirley McLean. That is where the "I like to watch" quote is from. When you do say hi to Rafael for me.

  12. Thanks Lori I'll keep an eye out for it - am always up for a laugh.


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